A Case of The "Won'ts"
My child won't...
I hear this all the time. “My child won't eat vegetables.” “My child won't eat fruits.” “My child hates meat.” “My child won't wear dresses.” “My child won't...”
Yet when you dig a little deeper, you find out that dad never eats vegetables or fruit. Mum cannot stand the smell of meat being cooked and makes a face every time it's being prepared.
How do you expect your child not to have any issues or quirks when you have so many?
My child won't do this. My child won't do that. Let's stop this right now and start saying, my child is wonderful and unique.
As adults we are all different. I have a variety of friends and it has become really hard to meet for dinner because each friend has her quirks. One won't eat meat, one won't eat fish, one is vegetarian, one is dairy free, one is gluten free, one is on a detox, one is on a diet and so on. Deciding to meet for coffee doesn’t work either, because one friend only drinks tea, another friend is on a caffeine-free month, while another only likes a particular brand and lastly one friend won't drink coffee from a “multinational greedy money making company” (or something like that, I zoned out to honest).
We all have our quirks. You have your quirks and you have passed them on to you child; your partner has also passed his quirks down to your child; the grandparents have passed their quirks down to your child. No wonder your child “just won't...”
If you want your daughter to wear dresses, start wearing them. She probably looks up to you and thinks, "I want to be like mummy. Mummy only wears trousers."
Your son won't eat fruits and vegetables—so get your partner to eat them in front of the children and while you’re at it, stop making disgusting faces when you are cooking meat, or just don't serve it if it's that horrible for you.
Let's give these children a break. We are putting pressure on them to eat, socialise, behave, learn ten languages, be athletic and so much more. Let's just let them be themselves. Praise them for brushing their own teeth, dressing themselves or whatever they can do. And lets praise ourselves for keeping them fed, clean and alive at the end of each day.
Stop saying, “My child won't...” and start saying, “My child can.”
NotSoFreeMum has grown up in London and is a true Londoner. She moved to Qatar with her family over three years ago. It was hard at first, but now has settled in nicely and calls Qatar her home. For more snippets of her life check out notsofreemum.blogspot.qa